Kitten Quirk: Freeloading
by theriku260
Summary: After a freak accident involving a sneeze and an earthquake give a three year old Izuku the ability to turn into a cat, mayhem ensues once he's separated from his mother. Now living as a street rat with a rather adventurous older brother, Izuku learns what it means to be a cat! From having multiple food sources (read: unlucky heroes and villains) to sunbathing. Also on AO3
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Izuku Midoriya was supposed to be quirkless, doomed to be bullied until a certain 'Symbol of Peace' scraped him from mediocrity to the platform of greatness.

Too bad nobody told Izuku Midoriya that, when at three years old he sneezed in rather violent fashion while hiding under a fallen piece of rubble.

In another universe, the three-year-old would not have a quirk, and thus would have been found moments later by his mother after a terrifying seven-point five earth quake in their local mall. Inko Midoriya would have sighed with a relieved smile and scooped up her crying toddler, taking him home after a quick check up.

Unfortunately, Izuku's quirk decided to show up, and right at that moment. The child, in the daze of being even tinier than normal and scared from all the dust- not to mention yells of panic- did what his instincts screamed for him to do. He ran.

Now, most people would stop to look at an eight-week-old kitten darting frantically in between their legs, but the natural disaster dulled many to their surroundings, especially tiny kittens.

Thus, Inko Midoriya would be frantic, screaming for her barely three year old son, leading to him being pronounced dead along with a little girl who was trapped in the rubble after an electric fire blazed hot enough to feasibly render some remains impossible to identify. The doting single mother would spend six months crying over her child, before picking up the pieces and moving on with her life.

It would be a long time before she realized her child was, in fact, alive.

Izuku ran through several passage ways, mewling for his mother. Japanese in his new form was difficult, so crying would have to do. When smoke started covering the ceiling, the kitten pulled out one of the few safety lessons that were able to be embedded in his brain from his mother.

'Go out… door or window! Get outside.' His mind supplied. Eyes darting, he saw an emergency entrance door to the outside, a man in a police uniform standing there to assist those trying to escape that way. Izuku's eyes brightened and he bounded up to the man, trying to babble that his name was Izuku and his mamma was somewhere. However, the officer just sent a puzzled gaze to the green and black kitten scratching at his leg.

"What's this? A stray perhaps?" The officer mused before shoeing it away. He loved cats, but his radio was informing him they had three adults with smoke inhalation being led to him by a fire fighter; helping a kitten was out of the question. "Go find your mother yourself, shoo." He snapped when the kitten tried to climb up his leg. The officer turned back to the building, missing the almost watery sniffles with too human emotions flash across the kitten's face.

Betrayed at the officer's words (his mamma always said officers had to help, but this one didn't, confusing him greatly), Izuku ran through the parking lot filled with holes and people, blind. He never saw his mother, as she was being interviewed on the other side of the parking lot, but some one else did, the only person who wouldn't turn Izuku into the police as soon as it was discovered his true identity of not being a feline.

Kaito Katsuo was a rather jaded child of ten years old. Growing up in a family of healing quirks made the boy dream of his quirk being something to help others. But, fate played a cruel hand- literally- and Kaito woke up one morning sticking his large clawed hands into his mother's gentle embraced.

Immediately he was shunned. After all, he was supposed to be the fifth generation of healers, but his retractable claws and fangs made him more of a beast. No longer was his mother kind or his father joyful. They flinched every time they saw his wild green hair or claws that were uncontrollable with his current amount of emotional control. Life settled into a bitter haze of his parents and former friends claiming he was a wild beast, a villain waiting to be born. Kaito was bitter, but vowed to be some one worthy, a doctor or nurse. He ignored the taunts on his temper and looks, endured the jeers from his family.

Until one kid pushed him too far by picking on a quirkless kid. Kaito saw them throw a rock at the girl who held unshed tears. In an instant he was ripping into the bullies, and when it was over, he had blinded one and left another's big toe in the grass.

Horrified, Kaito never looked at the girl he saved, realizing he was a monster, a villain. In the fashion only a naïve and scared nine year old could do, Kaito reasoned that since he did something so…villainous, with his quirk, he'd be locked away like the monster he was. So he ran.

A year later, the now ten year old was patching up a woman's head with her jacket since the paramedics were overwhelmed. He had been stealing food from the dumpsters when the earth quake hit, and the homeless woman had kicked him out of the way of debris.

"There. Now we're even, scram hag." Kaito huffed and stood up before she could say anything. He wiped his hands on his frayed shorts, but blinked when bright green eyes stared at him from three feet away.

Izuku blinked at the older boy who said something that sounded mean to the lady with a funny jacket on her head.

"Meow" He said, thinking he asked for his mother. The older boy with sharp teeth turned slightly pink.

"A kitten…" Kaito muttered, thinking through something. He always wanted a pet and the little green blob looked hurt with all the smoke on its fur. Making a decision, Kaito walked over and scooped up the feline and walked away soundlessly, wondering if all cats were so easy.

Izuku was startled at the motion of being picked up, but figured he was being taken to his mother. So, he was a good boy and stayed still, even when the boy started jumping through alleys to the part of the city he was told to never go to.

Izuku got a bit worried when the boy who carried him sat him on a pillow inside a shipping container left- for some odd reason- outside an abandoned skyscraper from decades past. The container was sealed shut save for air holes drilled, tarps haphazardly thrown on top of the large container to give it a better barrier against the sun- even if it was always in the shade of the slums around it. Of course, Kaito hadn't just stepped into the container, but crawled through a dirt tunnel and arriving through the floor that had been ripped up. He turned on a flash light and smiled at Izuku, who was beginning to think the boy wasn't going to take him to mamma. The dusty air around him and dim surroundings made him want to sneeze again.

"A- A- ACHOO!" Izuku let out once more. Now the world was slightly less big again but the room seemed darker.

"You've got to be kidding me!" Kaito screamed, looking at what was supposed to be his new kitten. Instead, a three-year-old boy with ears and a fluffy tail sat on his sleeping pillow, crying his eyes out.

"W- where's my mamma?"

"Uh…" Was Kaito's intelligent reply.

Three hours of questioning led Kaito to finally know what exactly he was dealing with.

Izuku was the kid's name, and he couldn't quite remember his last name, just that it was something Mido.

He was under some rubble in the mall when he sneezed and activated his quirk to turn into a cat. Telling the child he got his quirk early made the ten year want to duct tape the brat's mouth closed at the excited squealing and random transformations into the kitten form.

His mother was nowhere to be found, and nobody helped him. Kaito knew it had to do with being a cat, but he was still offended that nobody stopped to help a tiny kitten as adorable as Izuku.

Logic and morals would have meant Kaito taking the brat to the nearest police station. But, Kaito didn't want to be questioned himself, and police weren't always the greatest. Heroes were out of the question too, as Kaito still shivered at the memory of a certain number two hero burning a kidnapper alive. Kaito was technically a kidnapper, right? He didn't want to be burned!

And, no matter how he wished to deny it, Izuku brought a real smile to his face. Kaito didn't like most people, and helping that homeless woman was the first nice thing he'd done in three months. So, Kaito did the only thing he thought was fair and logical to him and maybe Izuku.

"You're staying with me, brat." Kaito deadpanned while he handed Izuku his share of food, a half-eaten loaf of bread and some discarded nuggets.

"Huh?" Izuku asked with a tilt of his head, bread stuffed in his mouth. "B- but… mamma." He teared up. Kaito cursed at the display. However, adults were horrible in his experience and most adults wouldn't like a three year old who could grow cat claws and turn into a feral animal. At least, not in Kaito's limited experience.

"Let me tell you the evils of adults, brat." The older greenette replied sagely and began a long lecture in how awful the world was and why he would be Izuku's big brother from now on. By the end of it Izuku was crying and not very happy, but Kaito roughly patted him on his head, telling him to sleep, something not difficult for the exhausted three year old.

Kaito spent the next four days watching out for anyone searching for Izuku on the news, pick pocketing newspapers left and right. It was all part of a deal he'd made with Izuku, that he could go back home if his mother told the news he was missing. When that deal was wrangled out of the ten year old, Kaito was dreading the inevitable of taking Izuku back. He was still considered without a quirk, so of course the stupid adults would want him. The younger kid was already brightening up his days, thinking his quirk was amazing and playing constantly with Kaito. However, to Kaito's confusion then anger, no mention of the boy was made. The newspapers just kept talking about how two kids died in the earth quake at the mall.

"I'm sorry, Izuku…" Kaito winced when once again Izuku was not mention. The boy sobbed, thinking his mother abandoned him.

"It's okay." Izuku mumbled when the tears dried. "You're all I need, Kaito-nii…" Kaito gasped at the boy, who smiled brightly and gave a hug.

"R- right…I'm your big brother, and I'll always be here."

After the revelation that nobody was missing Izuku, Kaito decided it was time to use Izuku's adorable kitten form for food. After all, who wouldn't want to feed a hungry looking cat that let you pet it?

"Now remember, stay in your cat form; just go up to that weirdo with the large loaf of bread. When he bends down to feed you, snatch a piece or two and run back behind the dumpster. When he leaves, I'll come get you." Kaito whispered. Izuku nodded his kitten head eagerly and started walking delicately up to a man with blonde hair that stood straight up and glasses. Kaito mentally rolled his eyes, wondering why the richer parts of the city had so many weirdos. With focus, Izuku made sure he had the 'cute kitten tumble' that still looked like he couldn't care less about the petty mortals beneath his feet.

"Mew" Izuku said once he was a foot away from the man. Said man gasped and spoke in a booming voice.

"Oh my gosh! A cat! A cat listener, how precious, let me feed you and cuddle you and never let you go!" The man beamed while pointing dramatically in Izuku's direction. Izuku, not liking how… extra the man was… backed away. The yellow canary of a man scrambled with pulling out two slices of bread, hoping to entice the kitten enough for him to grab Izuku. However, his mouth went slack jawed when the slices were ripped from his hands and the kitten bolted away to an alley. "No! Come back here my precious!" He screamed. However, luck was not on his side as the kitten disappeared, leaving a rather depressed mood. A ring pulled his mood up. "Hizashi here!"

'Get over here. We have a drug bust waiting to happen. I texted you the address five minutes ago.' Hizashi heard from the other side.

"Shouta, no need to be so mean. I'm on my way!" With that, the voice hero ran in the opposite direction the alley, never noticing the kitten or ten year old that shared loud giggles.

"Time for another target. I hear old ladies like feeding birds, why not cats?"

"You got it, Kaito-nii!" Izuku beamed, in his human form. The older boy thumped his head.

"No getting out of cat form when we're on the job!"

"Sorry…" Izuku grumbled and once again became a green and black fuzz ball. With a sigh, Kaito picked up his brother and friend, mentally wondering where they could find an old lady feeding birds.

So this is originally on my AO3 account. Lemme know what you think!

Discord Server:

/wtFeZd


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Two and a half years passes quickly for the con artist brothers, and Izuku barely thought of his life before Kaito. Most days he could recall his mother's voice or and hair, but with each passing month the almost six year old forgot what it meant to not be a street kid.

"Kaito-nii, can we pweeease stop?" Izuku whined from the floor only to hiss when Satan's spit shot out at him. "Stop spraying me! It's evil!" The cat boy demanded.

"Maybe if you quit crying about reading I'd quit spraying you with water, twit." Kaito growled back.

"That isn't water, it's Satan's spit! And why do I gotta read? I can write my name and read some signs."

Kaito resisted a face palm. The barely thirteen year old (Izuku had insisted on celebrating it with a trip to the beach last month to celebrate) was at his wit's end. Izuku loved when he read to him, and liked the library, so why didn't he want to read?! It was perplexing for Kaito, someone who grew up on the importance of education and secretly wanted to be a doctor still. Weekly trips to the library were Izuku's favorite, as the librarian would feed them cookies and read to them. She loved Izuku and his antics, even if Kaito made him wear a beanie to hide his ears and stuff his tail up his shirt.

"Look, read it or no dinner." There. The thirteen year old put on a stoic face, mentally cringing at using the same punishment his parents used to use. It was for the best though, even if Izuku was underweight. He reasoned it was for his own good in the long run.

However, Izuku was at his wits' end. They hadn't eaten yet in the day, it was a sweltering May afternoon, and he was bored. Tears welled up in his eyes and threatened to spill. Kaito gulped; Izuku was having the beginnings of a mega meltdown.

"W- wait! Izu, Izuku, please don't!" Kaito pleaded, spraying water to snap his little brother out of it. Izuku sobbed louder and kicked things around. Kaito panicked as the boy was so upset he turned into a kitten and turned back in quick succession.

"We'll get ice cream!" He promised. Immediately the sobbing went to hiccups.

"L- lactose free i- ice cream?" The almost six year old sputtered. Kaito nodded, anything to keep a tantrum like last month's from happening. He still had phantom pains from Izuku's claws on his back.

"Of course." He promised and herded Izuku out the house, hat in place.

"Do we… have enough money?" The small child sniffled while they walked towards a nice shopping district that sold lactose free products. Kaito gave a thumbs up as he held up a wallet with almost a thousand yen. "Woah! How'd you get so much money!"

Now, here Kaito had a decision. They couldn't live on scraps alone and nobody hired kids for anything but shady work. Thankfully old ladies loved a good sob story and forked over their funds. However, Izuku had a strange moral code, as food was meant to be eaten but money was sacred. He didn't really want his little brother to think he did something bad (even if using your quirk to con others into dropping food could be considered just as illegal) so he searched for a believable excuse.

"Oh? Um… it fell from the sky?" Kaito deadpanned while cursing himself, knowing nobody would fall for that.

"Woah, really?" Izuku asked in wonderment.

"…Yes…it did ."

"That's amazing Kaito-nii." Izuku was serious. Realizing his little brother was dense and young, Kaito capitalized on it.

"Yes of course little bro. I'm built out of awesome, brat."

"Then… then Imma be just as awesome one day!" Izuku proclaimed. People around them on the street cooed at the adorable pair, especially when Izuku's hood fell off as he jumped on Kaito's back. He didn't bother pulling it back up even if cat ears were rather easy to remember, especially as they never did any scavenging or conning in this area. Nobody could possibly connect Izuku to the stray kitten thief from their usual haunts. Of course, he'd just have to keep the kid off the radar of homeless kids, but Kaito had done so successfully for over two years; surely he could keep it that way?

The duo reached the ice cream parlor and Kaito learned an important lesson: Izuku was a professional freeloader.

"Nwaaw, who's a good kitty boy? Yes, you are! You want another scoop honey, on the house!" The young brunette behind the counter was eager to feed the cat quirked boy all the ice cream he could eat. Then, when Izuku gave a teary-eyed smile and asked 'what about my nii-chan' Kaito was given an extra large bowl of his favorite, rocky road.

"You're the best, Ayame-san!" Izuku purred while munching on his own bowl. Women gushed over him, and before they finally managed to get away, Izuku was given a box of cupcakes and a voucher for another large bowl of ice cream. While the small child was oblivious to this new ability, Kaito was carefully planning on capitalizing on this somewhat surprising development.

Who knew people liked kitten quirks enough to be played?

"Izu! RUN!" Kaito screamed a month later as he threw a dumpster lid at a man made of rocks who radiated murder.

The brothers were minding their own business and heading to a new area for Izuku's gig when said rock man bursts out of a nearby store, bag in hand. Screams of 'thief' could be heard. Izuku was walking next to Kaito as the man barged past, almost stepping on the kitten. Bad move.

"Oi!" Kaito snarled and took off, quickly catching up and knocking the man down. An adult might be stronger, but Kaito was faster and better.

"Why you" The rock man narrowed his eyes, beady black orbs peering out from gravely grey rocks. Suddenly the man seemed to explode, rocks fling everywhere like shrapnel. In the dusty after math the criminal was twice his former size. Both boys- and the civilians who were gathering around to video- gulped. Instantly a game of cat and mouse was set as the duo darted into an alley nearby, their pursuer out for blood on their heels.

"Izu! RUN!" Was the last order Izuku was given from Kaito before he darted in and out of the alley ways. Kaito turned to run as well, only to find himself face to face with a hero.

Izuku kept running towards a nearby park, one of the many meeting spots Kaito had set up for when they got separated. However, in his panic, the green and black kitten made several wrong turns and ended up in a separate area. By this time over twenty minutes had passed since the rock man incident. With a sniffle, Izuku plopped down on top of a building vaguely familiar as one they passed going home after its height gave no indication where he was.

"What an interesting kitten." A silky voice rumbled. Izuku flinched and whipped his head to the noise, relaxing when it was just a grey tom cat. The cat peered at Izuku curiously before sniffing him. "You smell like a kitten… but also like a human. You don't look like a pet, however." The grey tom mused while taking in his scrawny and slightly unkempt appearance. Izuku bristled. "Oh, a temper, neh? Now what's a little stray doing in this area?"

"I… I got lost, from my brother." Izuku finally said. His quirk allowed him to understand other felines but speaking coherently took effort. So much of the cat language was based around tail movement and gestures, so replicating it was hard. "I have to go… to a park." He managed. His stomach growled loudly, causing his eyes to burn. The tom had an unamused gleam in his eye before sighing.

"Well before that, I might as well feed you." The older cat grumbled and stalked down to the fire escape. "Come along now, I don't have all day." He added when Izuku didn't move. With a startled mewl the kitten bounded down the fire escape to follow the grumpy yet nice old tom.

"Here we are. My human is a rather strange one, but he has plenty of food out and knows how to care for us. Be quiet and we won't have a problem."

"O- oh… thanks…"

"Haru."

"Haru. Thank you." Izuku mumbled. He braced himself for cat food, something Kaito only tried to make him eat once, only to blink at the can of fancy tuna.

"Heh, told you my human was puurfect." Izuku ignored him and ravished the food, not noticing two other bodies were pressed against him.

"A new little brother? Haru, you know Shouta is going to be ecstatic!" A female voice purred. Hackles raised, Izuku glanced to see a pure white female cat missing an eye and a black tom missing an ear.

"Shush, Kuro, you know Shouta is sleeping." Haru scolded.

"Pssh, you're no fun Haru. Me and Shiro just want to meet the new guy."

"He isn't staying, just getting some food." The grey tom retorted. The black tom snorted.

"Tell that to Kuro; she's already treating him like her own."

Izuku stayed quiet, not really keeping up with the fast conversation. From what he understood, Kuro was the white cat, which confused him since she wasn't dark, and wanted him to stay. Then Shiro- the black cat that should be white based off his name in Izuku's opinion- thinks he's staying just because Kuro wanted it. Then there was this 'Shouta' guy, but Izuku didn't smell any other cats. The three continued bickering and Izuku took the opportunity to back away. They blocked the path to the window but Izuku figured there had to be another way out from these weird felines.

Flashes of soft carpet and air conditioning filled Izuku's mind as he struggled to recall his life before Kaito. Their floor was metal and it was never quite this chilly inside, even in winter. He padded along cautiously, hoping to find a secluded window to transform into his human form and get out. A dark room at the end of the hall drew his attention and he head butted the door open enough to pad in.

"Heh, bet they didn't expect me to escape. I'm a ninja cat!" Izuku snickered, not realizing how loud he was being. Suddenly red eyes flashed in the dark, and a white snake wrapped around him. "Meep!" Was all the kitten was able to say before being pulled into bony hands.

"A…kitten?" A sleepy voice grumbled in the dark room. Izuku hissed and tried to claw at the bindings. To his dismay he was captured too well, unable to move as the man groaned. Getting up, the man carried him in his scarf towards the other cats, all the while in a yellow sleeping bag.

"Let me go! Grr, I'll claw your eyes out caterpillar man!" Izuku yeowled from his bindings.

"Quiet you. Little basterds, you brought me another mouth to feed." The man said. The other cats crowded around his legs.

"Ah! You met Shouta, isn't he great?" Kuro exclaimed.

"Shouta, we need more food." Shiro pointed out.

"Human, feed me." Haru finished.

"Damn freeloaders. Meet your new room mate. Now, what to call you?" Shouta mused. Izuku leveled him with a glare filled with trepidation, eying the open window. Shouta seemed to read his mind and slammed the window shut. "Meh I'll figure it out later. You'll like it here…after I get your shots and bath. You're filthy." He added on.

"Caterpillar man let me go!" Izuku snarled again. Shouta rolled his eyes and just gently set Izuku inside a carry case.

"Hopefully the vet is still open. If not, I could make Hizashi drive me to the late clinic…"

The vet, Izuku decided, was an evil place. Dropped on a cold table and stuck with knives, Izuku spent the entire time trying to escape. He would turn into a human but this 'Shouta' person was too evil. If he was this rough to a cute kitten, what would he do to a kid?!

Worse was the bath. The other cats looked on in pity from the door as he was dunked in flea bath water.

"There, was that so hard?" Shouta asked smugly after setting Izuku down, snapping photos on his phone. "I have patrol in three hours, so be quiet, all of you." He added after setting out food.

Izuku pawed at the collar around his neck, trying to get it undone. The bell was fun, however. With a grumble at how 'ungrateful' Izuku was when he bit his hand, Shouta climbed into his sleeping bag and crawled towards his room. Izuku watched him grow as the sky got dark outside. Once the other cats followed, leaving the kitten with words of encouragement, the quirked child allows himself a grin. A few more yanks and the collar is off on the floor. Quick as a flash he's transformed into his human form and out the window, darting through alleys.

It takes almost an hour and a teary-eyed question to a passing fifth grader, but Izuku makes it to the park.

But, Kaito wasn't there. Not even a sniff of him in his cat form.

"Kaito-nii?" Izuku mews, turning back into his cat form. He sits on the bench they were supposed to meet at, swinging his tail.

It felt like hours, but a familiar set of footsteps came behind him. Izuku whipped his head around to see Kaito grinning at him, black eye prominent. Kaito chuckled at his concerned look and lifted up a handcuffed wave. Izuku started crying and jumped into his arms.

"Yeah brat, I fought off a hero. Glad you made it… why do you smell like chemicals?" The taller greenette sighed when Izuku went back to being human.

"IT WAS HORRIBLE! The was a crazy cat and a catipillar man and tiny knives and SATAN'S SPIT! SO MUCH!" By now Izuku was bawling his eyes out and Kaito decided getting home was the best option. It was impossible to get coherent information from a rambling Izuku and he no doubt had people searching for him after decking 'Present Mic'. Bolting afterwards was the only reason he wasn't sitting in a police station, even if an officer managed to cuff him once. For now, time to lay low for a couple of days.

So this is originally on my AO3 account. Lemme know what you think!

Discord Server:

/wtFeZd


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Shouta Aizawa sighed as his friend recounted the 'devil child' that gave him a black eye when all he'd wanted to do was ask the kid how he was. Shouta hid a grin at his friend's misery, secretly finding it hilarious and saving blackmail pictures on his phone.

However, his mood darkened when he thought of his newest kitten. Though he had yet to name it, the kitten was Shouta's child, just like his other fluffy basterds who free loaded off him. When he woke up from his nap an hour ago, the green and black cat was gone, collar off and window open. Shouta was frantic, but he was stuck listening to Hizashi's ranting. He figures he'll just have to track down his newest kid while on patrol.

'The Problem Kitten is soo getting another bath for this' Shouta promised himself darkly.

"Then, Shouta, the little brat smirked at the police as he ran! He SMIRKED! What kid smirks at police?!" Hizashi Yamada, also known as Present Mic while on duty, finally stopped for a breath. Shouta took the opportunity to wrap his friend's mouth in his handy capture scarf, smirking at the indignant squawking.

"I have patrol now. Don't wreck anything this time. Better yet, go to your own apartment."

"Now why would I do that, Shouta! I have to eat your left overs!" Hizashi whined after he magically escaped the bindings. Shouta would swear the cockatoo was part ninja.

"You will do no such thing. I swear, you're worse than a child."

"But Shouuuuuutaaaaa."

"I'm off. Be gone when I get back or else." Shouta Aizawa threatened with glowing red eyes as he leapt from the living room window. He did a back flip off the fire escape and mental cheered at how awesome that must have looked to Hizashi.

Only to glare as he walked right into a scene of his cat cheating on him.

With a kid.

Then kid smacked his cat on the head.

Oh, was Shouta ticked.

Moments before the hero discovered the 'treachery', Izuku was trying to tell his big brother to not go by 'the caterpillar man's place' through meowing and biting. Kaito, already tired from the day and hungry, bopped his brother on the head.

"Shut up till we get home, then you can tell me." He snapped. Only to have Izuku yanked from his grasp and him upside down in the air.

"What the hell do you think you were doing with my cat!?" A voice growled with malice. Kaito, budding con artist and doctor hopeful, met with the eyes of death. This was so not his day.

Then it hit him. Izuku's ramblings at the park. His crying. The basterd in front of Kaito was the one who traumatized his brother, if Izuku's frantic squealing was any indication.

"Your cat? Excuse me, you pathetic piece of hobo, that is MY CAT" Kaito snarked. He was promptly at the bottom of a shoe.

"Real owners don't hit their cats or let them run around half starved!" The man griped while cuddling a struggling Izuku. "I bet you stole him brat, and what are you even doing up at this hour!" Kaito was about to reply in a snarky way and try to rip the bindings off when a familiar voice called from above.

"SHOUTA! You forgot your snack- hey! That's kid that ruined my face!" Present Mic of all people shouted. Kaito gulped as the red eyed man's grin turned smug and Kaito soon found himself tied to a rather comfortable kitchen chair with a light shining on his face.

"Alright kid, mind giving me a reason not to haul you to the station for hitting a hero and stealing my cat." The man now identified as Shouta said. Kaito smirked and started figuring out how he was going to talk his way out of this one.

Within an hour Kaito had spilled his life story, only saying that he found Izu (Shouta had scoffed at the name while Present Mic cooed, holding a now snoring kitten Izuku) after the earth quake and that the 'animal' was a great help in getting food. Of course, Kaito changed his name to 'Hiro' and his age to fourteen instead of thirteen. He had no intention of actually being caught.

"Wait, Izu… which I still think isn't a great name for a cat… looks to be about twelve to fourteen weeks. But that earthquake was over two years ago. How is he still so small?" Kaito refused to squirm under his gaze. He wracked his brain for an excuse, but Present Mic came up with such a beautiful explanation that he almost felt bad for decking the man. Key word almost.

"The cat listener has a quirk, doesn't he! I bet it's a life extension quirk, that's why he's smarter than most other fluff balls, right?"

"Hn. The cockatoo is right." Kaito muttered, ignoring the indignant squawk. "Izu can follow simple commands and I think he could one day talk." He added. Technically Izuku had spoken one word recently while in cat form: food. Of course, he since had been unable to replicate it but details.

"That still doesn't explain why he's so thin… and you come to think of it."

"Hmph. I feed him plenty- more than me sometimes! It's not our fault food gets scarce." By this point Present Mic was slightly pale, as Kaito added in ahis two cents of his mother sometimes withholding food for being less than perfect at school or other minor infractions. He exaggerated like the good con child he was and soon the Shouta guy had released his scarf's tug while he processed the slightly tall tale and implications that they had a quirked animal (muttering about some guy named 'Nezu').

"Stay here, I need to call Nezu. You're not in trouble." Shouta ordered.

Kaito took the opportunity to dive out the window parallel to the table, foot smashing into the cockatoo's nose. Izuku dived after him, proving that the brat had only pretended to be asleep; Kaito was so proud.

"Catch us if you can, hobo man!" Kaito mocked as they dashed into the night. When a search was called, no trace of boy or cat would be found.

"Damn, he took my cat!" Shouta informed his whimpering friend while shoving an ice pack at the man.

"I have a show tomorrow!" Was Hizashi's retort.

Izuku was instantly back into his human form and rolling on the floor laughing when they were back in their house.

"HAHAHA! DID YOU SEE THEIR FACES! Kicking him!" Izuku wailed in glee. Kaito sighed but laughed as well. "Hey, are we still allowed to go to the library and stuff now that those heroes saw you Nii-san?" The younger boy asked later while eating cold rice.

"Sure squirt, but we're going to have to be more careful, and I think it's time for a change in career." He said quietly.

"Huh?"

"Career… like what we do for food."

"But…I like getting food with my cat form. They always give nice pets and yesterday we got a bag of candy!" Izuku protested.

"And we'll still do that!" Kaito assured him. "Just… not as often. We're moving to the other side of the slums. That Shouta guy- I recognized him as Erasure Head half way through the conversation- may think we live in the eastern district, but if he asks around they'll know we come from the western slums. I know another neighborhood in the southern slums… I used to live there when I first ran away. It's warm and still close to our haunts." Kaito assured his little brother.

"Promise? And we can still see Miss Anko at the library?"

"Definitely! She's out of his most likely 'search zone' so we're safe. Plus, I think you'll like what we'll be doing for proper money."

"Huh?" Izuku asked.

"Heh… how would you like to be able to get all the ice cream and tuna you want, just by letting stupid rich humans look at you?"

And thus, the ever cunning Kaito started telling Izuku about the oddity that were cat cafes. He was giddy, remembering a poster advertising a café that would pay cat owners to 'rent' their cats for certain days a week, as the owner didn't want to keep the cats at her house. It was going to be Kaito's greatest plan yet, he could feel it.

Two months later found Izuku lazing in a window ledge munching on some fried salmon while a high schooler brushed his fur. The owner of the cat café even taught him stuff when the shop closed after he accidentally turned into a human for a potty break and she saw him. Maiko-sama was so nice when she taught him, and he got cookies when he did good!

Izuku had to say this was his brother's greatest plan, even better than the time they had that old blind lady feed them for a month thinking they were her grandkids.

"Kaito! Get your ass out of the kitchen and fill the customer's tea!" A loud blonde said, hitting said boy on the head with a frying pan.

It was supposed to be easy: lend Izuku out for the day to be pampered and eat his fill (Kaito refused to admit Shouta's observations on his brother's skinny appearance influenced him at all) while he worked on getting others to fill his pockets to save for high school… and maybe school for Izuku. The brat could read well above elementary level and do math scary fast after Kaito started an incentive program involving ice cream. Kaito wanted his little brother to get a chance to go to middle school at least… after he paid for a fake ID for the both of them.

But Maiko-sama had taken one look at Kaito, asked him if he went to school (Kaito curses himself for his momentary bout of honesty) before shoving him into an apron and handing him a coffee pot. Now he had to work five days a week in exchange for 'lessons'. Kaito swore the hag just used them as an excuse to work her aim with a ladle. He still didn't understand why Izuku liked her; letting another person know their secret was not his choice, but for some reason she liked Izuku more, giving him endless cookies and letting him be the star of the cats. Meaning nobody could play with him unless he wanted them too.

Which of course, he did like playing. At this point Izuku had the entire patronship of the café wrapped around his claws. Kaito called an injustice from the universe.

"Kaito! Get your head out of the clouds! A customer wants to order. Get to it or double the chemistry tonight!" Kaito scoffed at the hag's voice, ignoring her smile and wiping his own off his face.

"Tsk, whatever old hag" He snarked as he made his way to the table absently.

"Welcome to 'Café Purrfection', I am Kaito, the one that can poison you if you piss me off so don't. What can I get you idiots- I mean valued customers?"

"My how interesting!" A voice spoke from… below him? Looking down Kaito gawked at the sight: a mouse or bear thing in a top hat and suit was grinning at him. Across from the talking creature was a perhaps the scariest looking man Kaito ever had the displeasure of seeing. Black head with white lines and in a long white trench coat, the older greenette tried to keep the tremor out of his voice.

"U- Uh… So Maiko- sama finally decided to give hallucination drugs." He muttered finally. When the mouse… bear… smirked and winked at him, Kaito decided God finally got sick of him scamming old ladies and sent the devil disguised as an animal to smite him.

This whole café thing was Kaito's worst idea ever in his humble opinion

So this is originally on my AO3 account. Lemme know what you think!

Discord Server:

/wtFeZd


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"Well, I'll have a cup of your best tea Kaito. Or should I say 'Hiro'?" Kaito's jaw dropped as Nezu's smirk grew wider. The chimera with a scar (no doubt from slaughtering thousands, Kaito was sure) seemed to enjoy Kaito's pain.

"I'll… get that tea right out…"

"Nezu. My associate is Ectoplasm." The creature supplied. Kaito schooled his face and nodded. Turning around, he went to the kitchen, pleased when Izuku noticed and slunk casually off his perch to follow him. Kaito planned to be out the back door and across the city within five minutes.

Maiko-sama barely looked the pair as Kaito went to grab his bag, her hands occupied decorating some cat themed cookies. Mentally going through their options ranging from hair dye to hopping the train to a neighboring city, Kaito didn't notice when Izuku was ripped from his side. A scarf wrapped tightly around his arms before he could reach the back door.

"Problem child, Problem Cat, where do you think you're going?" A familiar voice grumbled from behind Kaito. Izuku looked at his brother in fear as he was tucked under the man's arm.

"Let me go, hobo man." Kaito tried, hoping for a reaction that would give Izuku or him a chance to run.

Too bad for them Shouta Aizawa was so done. Months of searching fueled by a curious Nezu (the principal really wanted to find others like him, animals with quirks and drove everyone around him into exhaustion looking for the Problem Cat) made Shouta tired. He wasn't about to let either escape. Thankfully the owner of the establishment was more than happy to let them 'talk' to the pair, as long as they weren't harmed and would still be working at the café. Apparently she had a soft spot for the thirteen year old hooligan.

"No, you're going to sit down in the back room and listen for once in your life." Shouta rebutted, ignoring the angry mewls from his arms as he dragged the kid towards the back room where Naomasa was waiting for an interview. "And you, my annoying runaway cat, are chatting with Nezu" He added as Izuku was dumped into a waiting Ectoplasm's arms.

Izuku watched helplessly as his brother was carted away, knowing he couldn't do anything. Maiko-sama gave him a wink and pat on his head when he was taken to the upstairs part of the café where Maiko-sama lived. Izuku had been up there many times when she had them dust or if they finished too late to walk home. Seeing the…creature mouse thing… that looked like he would give Izuku a tummy ache just sitting at the small table by the window with a cup of tea put the boy on edge.

Okay, time to act like a cat. Izuku could do this, right? Right, he could.

"Ectoplasm-san, please wait outside while I talk to our friend here. No disruptions." Was Nezu's quiet order. Without a word Ectoplasm obeyed after plopping Izuku in the chair across from Nezu with a head pat. Soon, the pair was alone. A bowl of lactose free milk was waiting in Izuku's spot, who looked at it in suspicion. "I promise it isn't poisoned or anything, Izu." That caught Izuku's attention. He gently stuck a tounge out at the bowl, fur puffing out in happiness when it turned out to be ice cold milk, his favorite.

Nezu watched in amusement while the cat boy drank. Truthfully he had found Kaito and Izuku less than a week after they disappeared (a fact that would drive Aizawa to murder if he ever found out) but wanted to observe both of them before approaching. He had security cameras hacked into, and discovered that 'Izu' was actually a boy called 'Izuku'. There were no missing children matching his description and with no last name, finding out who the child really was proved to be difficult. If Nezu was being totally honest, however, he didn't look too had into Izu's past. He had plans for both boys, and neither included tracking down what could be a bad home. Kaito, from what he saw, cared about his little brother deeply and Nezu had no plans on separating the two. Gathering evidence from Kaito's testimony with Naomasa to take down the horrible parents and keep Kaito from disciplinary action for his illegal quirk usage would be fun. Nezu didn't want to do the same for Izu.

So, he'd let most everyone- even Izuku- believe he thought the boy to simply be an animal with an intelligence quirk that was learning to talk. Nezu would never admit that watching the child slowly learn to speak while in his animal form filled him with pride; the principal of UA saw the boy as a kindred spirit as learning to speak Japanese was a process Nezu remembered undergoing with a wince.

Maiko, from the conversations over the phone, was on board with what Nezu had planned. She was already planning on forcing Kaito into a high school, while Nezu promised he'd do the same for Izu. While peeved that he hacked into her security cameras, Maiko knew that 'her boys' would get good education, especially as Nezu was the one that sent the school supplies and lesson plans as proof of goodwill. Kaito would be put on a probation and fostered by one of the UA teaching staff while Izu would stay with Maiko until his high school years, where he'd no doubt excel in the hero course. Fifteen was the age children could choose if they lived with any family, thus neutralizing any 'hiccups from family members that wished to entrench on Nezu's master plan. With proper molding (read: manipulation), Izu would join UA as a hero to be after years of being seen as nothing but a special cat by everyone around him. A most amusing few years were ahead, and Nezu would make sure to video tape everyone's reactions when it came out that Izu was completely human.

Mostly, he just wanted to mess with everyone and let Izuku think he had the smarted being in the world fooled, if Nezu was being honest.

"So, my sources say you're quite the feline. Able to live the same length as a human and speak the language."

Izuku gulped at the eyes boring into him but nodded.

"Yeah… I can talk a bit." He finally mumbled. The voice was deep and gravely, contrasting greatly with the ball of fuzz that he was.

"For one so tiny, your voice is rather grown up." Nezu teases. Izuku huffs.

"Excuse me! At least I don't have an… an… an identity crisis!" The cat boy retorts, looking for the phrase Kaito taught him after they saw a man without an animal quirk wearing cat ears. Kaito-nii told him the man was confused about what he was and Izuku thought Nezu must be as well.

"That's right. It's me, Nezu, the one who could be a dog or a mouse or a bear, but more importantly... I'm the principal of a high school!" Nezu said jovially, taking the insult in stride. Honestly, he wasn't about to be offended by a six year old.

"W- whatever. So what do you want with me and Kait-nii?" Izuku asked, glad this 'Nezu' creature didn't think he was human. If he knew, Kaito-nii would be mad and Izuku would lose the ability to free load off of people according to his brother.

"Hmm, well we're seeing about having your 'brother' talk with a detective and the man that tried to 'adopt' you"

"The Caterpillar man!"

"While Aizawa-san is known to be eccentric, he is completely human I assure you. Anyways, your brother will be taken in by a hero and offered a position as an esteemed student in UA's hero course." Nezu continued rambling about his plans and that Izu would be staying with Maiko-san for his 'job' while visiting UA for private tutoring with Nezu himself. However, Izu ignored him after the words reached above his capacity to understand and zoned out slightly and began muttering. Nezu sweat dropped at the scene, remembering he was dealing with a small child.

"Maybe we'll start with basic instructions. How would you like to be taught by me three mornings a week along with your brother while he finishes middle school and gets into UA?"

"Is there food at this 'UA'?" Izuku questioned, though UA sounded like a half mewing sound.

"We have a personal cook that makes anything you like." The principal promised.

"I'm in! Well, if Kaito-nii is in…" He muttered at the end in cat language, though Nezu got the gist of it.

"I'm sure he is. More milk?"

While Izuku was having his nice little chat with Nezu, Kaito sat across from his decidedly least favorite person: Naomasa Tsukauchi.

Now, it's not like Kaito had anything against the guy, as the detective was much nicer than any police the boy had dealt with before.

But, as a con artist, Kaito couldn't stand him. How do you con a human lie detector? You don't Kaito decided after spending ten minutes getting every half truth rejected by the man. In the end, he had to spill his guts to the guy and hobo man, who was insisting Kaito call him 'Shouta or Aizawa'.

Hobo man fit him better in the teen's humble opinion.

"So… you heard my story. What now?" He asked, somewhat confused that they didn't really ask about Izuku (of which he was happy about but suspicious when they explained the rat was handling it. Kaito promised to gut the thing if it hurt his brother) and just wanting to hear what happened next. Probably jail. Kaito would make sure to escape wherever he was sent, but he still didn't want to leave Izuku alone. "I assume jail and whatever other crap that goes along with it."

"No no! You won't be going to jail, I promise. In fact, Nezu-san has offered you a place at his school until you graduate high school." Naomasa says a bit flustered. Mentally the man cringed at the complete faith Kaito had in the opinion that he'd being sent to jail. From official reports and his testimony, the boy was abused and neglected, leading to his life. While the illegal quirk usage and punching a hero would mean he'd have to stay with a hero for probation, it wouldn't go on his record.

"So I have to go to some fancy school? No thanks, I won't leave Izu all day."

"You'll be staying with me, you and Problem Cat." Shouta said after a moment. "The cat is going to be taught by Nezu apparently while you go through school, including high school. You'll still be working here after school five days a week, seeing as it can act as your community service. Behave and probation ends when you graduate."

"Uh, I don't think so, hobo man." Kaito said immediately.

"It's either me or Present Mic; none of the other teachers have the space/ license to foster a kid, and you can't stay with another hero who couldn't keep an eye on you." Kaito cringed at the thought of living with the cockatoo.

"… I don't have a choice, do I?"

"Just accept my damn charity and give me the cat Problem Child." Shouta deadpanned. Kaito sweat dropped and turned to Naomasa.

"Heh. I have the forms right here and ready to be signed." Naomasa pushes a stack to Shouta, who immediately regrets his life choices but continues on.

"… So what kind of school am I going to exactly? I did always want to be a doctor."

The silent gulp from Naomasa- who knew Nezu's plan for the kid to become some kind of hero- was all Kaito needed to know that this was going to suck majorly.

In the end, Kaito moved in with Aizawa, who was not happy with trekking across town to a dump for Kaito's stuff. The older boy hid the one picture of him and Izuku in human form in his bag, and Maiko-sama was kind enough to steal away Izuku's clothes to her shop claiming they were scraps for rags.

After making Kaito promise to scrub the ceiling as payment, the hag. Now the pair was in their new bedroom, Izuku stretching his muscles after being in his kitten form all day and half the night. Tomorrow he'd be back in with Maiko but would be going with Kaito to UA in the morning, meaning it would be quicker for him to just stay in the apartment with his brother. Shouta had already tried forcing a collar and cute clothes on him.

When Izuku started talking- proving without a doubt that he was an animal with a quirk to Shouta- he then made Izuku help him have a 'heart to heart' with Kuro and Shiro. Needless to say the felines managed to have Izuku negotiate with a bigger cat tower and more treats.

"Kaito-nii" he stage whispered to Kaito, who rolled over sleepily.

"Hn."

"Can I go outside? I want to explore, and I won't go far." Izuku promised. When the asleep teen just started snoring, Izuku took it as a yes and climbed out of the bedroom window, transforming half way down to the ground and running off.

The next morning when Izuku casually slinked into the apartment just in time for some breakfast, the boy was met with two frantic and angry eyes, curtesy of Kaito.

"Uhhh…." Was Izuku's intelligent response to Kaito's question of why he was out all night.

Mentally, Izuku was looking for a way to explain that he may have crashed into a bar with an older teenager who loved video games and had amazing tuna for Izuku, even if the guy was obsessed with killing heroes.

Everyone had hobbies, right?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Izuku dozed on the way to UA, missing the way Shouta and Kaito were glaring at one another. The feline refused to be near the 'caterpillar man', resulting in Izuku snuggling into Kaito's new book bag, his brother shooting Shouta smug looks. In response, a scarf would randomly trip the 'former' con child, not that the snoring Izuku would feel it.

Soon though, the trio was outside UA's gates, and Izuku was rudely lifted up by the scruff of the neck by Kaito.

"Kaito- niiiii, leave me alone." He complained pitifully, the whine not matching up with the oddly deep voice. However, all complaints ended when his eyes popped at the sight. Kaito snorted at his brother's complaints and awe struck look.

"Maybe if you didn't go out all night and refuse to tell me where you went, I wouldn't have to force you awake. Sheesh, Izu, it's your own damn fault you're so tired." He received a hiss at that as they were led towards the principal's office, taking in the large hallways.

"Humph." Was the six year old's intelligent argument. Kaito did not feel satisfaction from winning an argument with his kid brother. Nope, not one bit.

"Problem Child, stop trying to win against a cat. Problem Cat, stop leaving the apartment at night."

"I'm not even staying at your place anymore" Izuku pointed out. In response he received the manic grin Shouta Aizawa was told could make villains cry.

"For now."

"Aizawa-san, thank you for bringing them here!" A cheerful voice echoed from… above (?) them, much to the two youngest's confusion. Nezu did a double summer sault as he fell from the ceiling, landing with a grin. They were outside the specially made room he had prepared for Kaito and Izuku, complete with places to nap for the cat boy. Of course, Nezu also had such spots scattered in each classroom and office, planning to have Izuku start to see UA as his home.

After all, it wouldn't do for someone with a quirk so good for spying and infiltration become friends with a shady villain organization? Imagine the horror if little Izuku became friends with a villain! Oh, Nezu shuddered at the thought.

Somewhere in the city, Tomura sneezed while drinking coffee, grumbling that his new cat better get back soon as he had to beat it at Pokémon; he refused to let a feline beat him at a video game, human intelligence quirk or not!

"Do you have snacks?" Izuku asked bluntly as he trotted into the room, instantly zooming in on a sun spot. Nezu chuckled in amusement but pointed to a plate with some salmon.

"Now, now, Izu; I will work with you on Wednesday, but today I need to assess your brother." The rat said, keeping up appearances that he only had a vague idea about their standing academically. In truth, he planned to test the boy's puzzle solving skills and begin lessons on word play. "For now, why not accompany Aizawa-san while he goes about his day? You could meet everyone."

Izuku panicked a bit when he was once again in the dreaded scarf, not at all liking the scary man that it belonged to. While the head pats were appreciated, he wouldn't be fooled! No doubt, the Caterpillar man was wanting to get on his good side before locking him away!

"Hm. Today I have to assess some brats' quirks so their homeroom teachers can 'help them improve' or something. Honestly, none of the brats this year have an ounce of potential. If I had my way, I'd expel them all." Shouta grumbled. Izuku, despite his misgivings, found himself wanting to talk.

"Well, why not take their jobs and then ex…exp… whatever it is you want to do?" He suggested.

"Expel, it means I get rid of them so they can't become heroes and injure themselves or others. And you know what, maybe I will Problem Cat. Despite having to be here all day every day instead of a measly four hours three days a week, crushing the dreams of those without potential sounds… fun."

For some reason, Izuku felt like he just unleashed a demon on the world. Ignoring the pang of guilt, he instead capitalized on his captors' musings and bolted down the hall, ignoring the man's indignant yells.

Finding himself being cooed at by Present Mic of all people was not Izuku's idea of a successful escape.

"Ahhh, the Cat Listener is here! Don't worry, I won't let mean old Shouta hurt you; you can come with me to teach some English!" Was the loud squawking Izuku was subjected to. However, when he saw the amazing cat bed laid out on the sunny window sill, Izuku promptly curled up and passed out.

After he allowed the students to fawn over him, of course.

"And then Zashi-san taught me how to sing 'Good Morning' in English with his students. We had lots of fun, and I'm now the 'class mascot' whatever that means. What did you do with the rat thing Kaito-nii?" Izuku asked while Shouta walked them to the café silently. Kaito grunted, brain fried after a measly four hours with Nezu.

"I… survived. We'll leave it at that. Now, let's get a snack before work." He said, and Izuku nodded. Putting on the cutest face he could, the boy in cat form walked over to a nearby crepe vendor who happily tossed down a bag, clearly used to the cat's weird ways.

"Problem Child, you can't do that." Shouta growled. Kaito rolled his eyes while eagerly eating his half in happiness, glad that the vendor was kind enough to keep them in a bag for his 'favorite customer'.

"I didn't do anything, Izu did."

"One day you'll stop being problem creatures. Now, work hard, I'll be back at six to pick you two up." He said.

"One, you won't be picking Izu up, and two, being a thorn in your side makes my life worth living."

"Of course it is."

After a long afternoon at the café and evening lessons, Izuku made his way to the bar, intent on bugging the strange man. They had excellent food and the 'virgin Mary' that the mist guy put down in a bowl was superb in Izuku's opinion. Just as the night before, Izuku crept in through the vent on the outside, crawling like a ninja cat until he was above the mist guy's head.

"Meorw" He said as he landed deftly on the counter, licking his paw while the mist guy let out a sigh.

"Ah, you're back; I know you're smarter than the average cat, so perhaps you won't leave so suddenly this time?"

"Meow." Izuku replied blandly. In cat language, he basically said 'try me', and puffed out his chest in what he hoped was pure awesomeness.

"Hey, Mikumo's back. Damn cat, you're too cool. This time I'm going to beat you." The hand guy from the night before piped up as he grabbed the indigent Izuku with four fingers. "Kurogiri-san, milk."

"Of course, Tomura-sama. I'm sure Mikumo would like another one of my special drinks?"

"Eh, sure." Tomura grunted as he was already connecting the two DS systems and Pokémon games, ready for a rematch. Izuku- who was not sure where the name 'Mikumo' came from- plopped down in front of the screen and prepared to beat his new friend at this stupidly easy game.

"Please remember that we have some associates arriving in a few hours with a shipment. Sensei sent the payment to your room for them."

"Hm. All those NPC's, why must we work with them? They won't help us kill All Might." Izuku ignored that last statement as the pair discussed their plans. Kaito-nii sometimes said how much he'd like to kill Nezu or other people, but in reality, he really liked them. So Tomura must really, really like All Might.

So Izuku would make sure to find him something All Might related for his birthday! Too bad Izuku's awesome All Might T-shirt wouldn't fit Tomura, but then again Izuku didn't think he could make himself give it to Tomura.

Maybe an action figure? Or an All Might game? He'd have to ask Kaito-nii later.

Now, though, he had a game to beat. He was at a disadvantage, throwing out a Nine tails while Tomura cackled with a Blastoise.

"You're going down now! I'm the final boss for you, you can't defeat me." Tomura ranted. In the younger boy's opinion, he was playing the villain card to well. With a wicked cat grin and hiss, Izuku started smashing buttons.

Time to defeat his foe!

Five hours later Izuku quietly slipped out during the 'meeting' after Tomura disintegrated a glass, happy that he beat his friend during every single match. Even if Kurogiri had to save him from being chucked across the room in Tomura's wrath.

Unknown to him, however, Kurogiri planned to discuss with a certain sensei about the cat with an intelligence quirk and how they might use him. If he did, Izuku might not have sent out a creepy chuckle that reverberated through the vents, making those in the bar seriously wonder if their place was haunted.

Walking home to the café should have been a piece of cake. In his cat form, Izuku was very agile and enjoying the night life. Many of the felines that lived in his area were now friends, often telling him gossip for scraps. Tonight the cats were tense, and many looked at him in concern as he trotted past. Silent, all hid in the shadows, sending narrowed eyes at a black van parked nearby.

"What's wrong" Izuku asked one such tom that lived in the alleyway near his café for years.

"There's a human child crying in the human beast; it was taken into this building here but brought out. It smelled of fear. The adult humans went back inside though." Izuku widened his eyes at the tom who answered, Hireo if he remembered right.

Quickly, Izuku went up the van. Indeed, he could hear crying. Using his teeth, Izuku managed to open the door up and slip inside. The crying stopped as a kid his age with purple hair gulped at the shadow. To Izuku's confusion, the boy wore a muzzle and quirk suppressant collar, something Kaito-nii warned him to never be put on him.

Izuku was about to transform and pick the lock holding the boy to the van's wall when the door slammed.

"Grr, brat somehow opened it I bet. Glad we'll be rid of him soon." A muffled voice said outside.

"I know right? Kid was stupid easy to take from his home too. He better fetch a good price on the black market with that quirk." A second voice spoke, getting louder in the end as the pair got inside the front seats. After a quick bark for the boy to be quiet, the van started moving, to Izuku's horror.

As the van kept moving through the dark streets, Izuku plopped down in a calm manner, and asked himself 'WWKND': what would Kaito-nii do. Such a way of thinking never failed the younger greenette before, why would it now?

Except… did Kaito-nii ever have to save somebody from kidnapping? Something told Izuku it was going to be a long night.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Izuku was… admittedly uneasy. The boy- who looked to be around his age but was hard to tell in the dark- was crying silently in his fur. Now, Izuku was glad he could help, but in reality, all he wanted to do was cry into his brother's shoulder- his brother that was safely asleep across the city. From what he knew about how his amazing nii-san worked, Kaito would have ripped the hinges off the door while the van was moving and jumped out with the kid. If that didn't work, he'd rip the faces off the kidnappers while cackling when they stopped.

With a start, Izuku realized his brother's methods were a bit more…violent than he was capable of. Kitten claws were vicious but not as effective as Kaito's. But hope was not lost. The men were blasting the radio and cursing loudly, the van rumbling below.

"Psst." Izuku said. The purple head boy jolted, and if the situation was less terrifying, Izuku would have laughed at the reaction. Instead, he pressed on. "My name's Izu. I can get us out, but you have to be quiet." The boy nodded frantically and with a puff, human Izuku crouched in front of the kidnapped boy. A strangled noise escaped but thankfully the men didn't notice.

"Promise not to tell anyone about me being human? My brother says it has to be a secret." Izuku asked seriously. The other boy nodded, one hundred percent sure that he would never divulge who his savior was.

With quick, nimble claws the feline child worked on picking the lock on the collar and muzzle. Kaito had made sure his brother could break out of Taurtus if necessary, much less simply collars and muzzles. The handcuffs took longer but soon Izuku and the boy let out silent cheers of victory.

Until the van halted, and dozens of voices echoed outside. Izuku was instantly in his cat form, the purplette hurriedly stuffing him in his baggy shirt.

Arisu Kanaye was always calculating. It's how she scraped herself up from being a poor foster kid into a woman worth millions in the pharmaceutical world. Even if she was in her fifties, the woman always looked for opportunities, thus why she was outside past midnight buying a child.

Being cunning and of looser morals, Arisu had 'collaborated' with the up and coming Yakuza and villain groups, leading to her being the number two business in Japan. But, Arisu refused to be number two. Even in preschool she would insist on being number one, and this was no different. When one of her employees were complaining about a 'villain child' who brainwashed their child (said child Arisu had the displeasure of meeting and was certain the brat was a bully) into hitting themselves and lying to the teacher. Arisu needed that kid like a cat needed naps.

With some training, she could send him into a meeting and walk out with trade secrets. She could use him to get blackmail material on politicians.

The possibilities were endless. Thus, why she paid a known human trafficker group to kidnap the six year old from his home and bring him to her. Already her skin was tingling in excitement. Opening the van with her five bodyguards and two idiot kidnappers, Arisu was expecting a lot of things.

The child, chained and scared, ready for her to take in with a reassuring fake smile. Or crying. Or knocked out. Really, anything but a ball of purple kicking her in the face before her body guards restrained him.

"Well then. That was… most unfortunate." She ground out, matching the glare of the brat. He shouted profanities at her, trying to get her to respond, no doubt.

Too bad for him, he met her eyes, causing him to slump forward unconscious. She sighed in relief before once again finding herself fighting a blob (though this one green), one that first tackled her face as a kitten.

"LET HIM GO HAG!" The kitten screeched. Another guard dumbly tried grabbing him but found nothing as the attacker instinctively dropped and clawed the ankles.

Arisu clutched her right eye with a hiss, knowing it would scar. However, her mind was already wheeling with the possibilities a quirked animal presented. Blinking back blood, Arisu held the cat up by the scruff and met its eyes, forcing her quirk to send him into a dreamless sleep.

"Fifty million for the cat. Let's go boys." She barked out after a minute of silence and carried her second charge to her vehicle. The purple brat was properly restrained, though he wouldn't be waking up for four hours, as per her quirk.

Arisu's quirk, Forced Shutdown, put anyone into an almost coma for four hours as long as she met them eye to eye while concentrating. Her foster care days were a joy when she became a glorified sleep aid for the foster parents and kids.

The woman who bought two living beings without remorse sighed in contentment and ordered the short drive to her mansion to begin, along with a call to the maid to prepare a cat friendly cage.

Only to feel the vehicle get slammed in the passenger side and find herself looking at knife sticking out her sternum, already feeling the life drain out of her. As her vision dimmed, Arisu watched a man covered in blood end her drivers. The door next to her was ripped open and said murderer gently scooped her possessions out and ran.

'Just..wait. I-I'll get you.' Were her last thoughts before her mind starts to slip. Vaguely, she hears shouts from heroes arriving and feels gentle hands grip her shoulders.

Waking up was not a pleasant experience for Izuku, feeling the pre-dawn sun on his whiskers… Crap. He was in human form, so his forced sleep blew his cover. Worse was that it wasn't a normal sleep, but…like he was in dense fog. Honestly, Izuku was just shocked he wasn't dead. Now, time to pretend to sleep like when Kaito-nii had chores.

"I know you're awake, boy. Transforming a few minutes ago almost made me gut you if my nephew didn't vouch for you." A gravely voice intoned from the side. Izuku yelped and bolted up. Looking a bit crazed yet bored was a man covered in blood, wearing a tattered business suite. The boy from last night was sitting in his lap, otherwise unharmed.

"Hi."

"…You're a strange one, brat." Was the man's response. Izuku huffed.

"That's mean. Where are we, blood man? What happened to those guys? Did you save us? Why are you covered in blood? Is that your quirk? What's happening? What time is it?" The small greenette started rambling, mumbles becoming one long string of words.

"Silence! We are on the roof to Hitoshi's- the purple brat here- apartment. I killed those idiots that kidnapped you two… well, except the sleep bitch but I'll get her later. Yes I saved you, no you cannot know why I'm covered in blood as it comes from before I found out Hitoshi was kidnapped. It's four am, why?"

"Oh no! Maiko-sama will be waking up and if I'm not back she'll tell Kaito-nii!" Izuku moaned. The newly named Hitoshi and the man looked at him strangely.

"You just survived a kidnapping, found out I killed people, and…you're worried about curfew?"

"Uncle's right, you're weird." Hitoshi piped up.

"Well Kaito-nii always said griping about 'bad things happenings' is stupid. And I've seen people covered in blood. My brother teaches tolerance to people's preferences. If you want to look bloody, why should I care?" Was the extremely blunt reply of a tired and rattled six year old. Then, with the speed only a street urchin could achieve, he bolted off the building, transforming mid fall and getting lost in the early morning air. Left behind was an extremely annoyed adult and one awestruck child.

"He's… he's SO COOL! Uncle Chizome, did you see that? He's like, the coolest cat EVER!" Hitoshi's secret fanboy of all things feline broke through, making said uncle grumble.

"Seriously, what a brat. Now… what do we tell your mother when she gets home tomorrow from her business trip?" If there was one thing Chizome was scared of, it was his adopted sister. The woman, though tiny, was fierce and prone to violence if Hitoshi was threatened. If he let it slip that he had let Hitoshi get kidnapped from his walk home while Chizome cleansed the world of a dirty cop selling drugs…he wouldn't last long.

"Nothing. I don't want to be forced into online school with a tracker in me!" He exclaimed.

"Well considering I already have one in you since I accidently lost you in the underground last year…"

"Uncle!"

"Hey, you can't blame me- I'm a vigilante and information gatherer. Now, let's go make pancakes while you tell me everything about that boy." He ordered. Hitoshi nodded numbly, used to the craziness that was his family. One doesn't have a Journalist as a mother and secret vigilante (not that his mother knew) as an uncle without getting used to insanity at a young age… and late nights when deadlines approached.

Years later Chizome would look at these moments fondly, the times before hero society made him puke so much, he faked his death and became 'Stain.' For now, he was just a simple adopted uncle making pancakes while planning the destruction of a woman who should be dead.

Hours after Izuku made it home in time to help clean, greet Kaito-nii, and catch up on sleep, the feline boy thought back to the purple haired kid- Hitoshi he remembered- he met and the 'uncle'. He planned on visiting him, maybe get a friend his age, but a certain Cockatoo derailed that plan.

"And that's why you listeners are invited to come to my radio station! Can I get a 'YEAAAAAAH?" Hizashi bellowed in his own special way as the shop was shut down. He had been sent to take care of Kaito as Shouta got called in to find some murderer that attacked the CEO of Japan's second largest Pharmaceutical.

Kaito looked up with an expression promising death, Izu vibrating in excitement. The older boy looked ready to refuse, but Izu overruled him with 'the look'.

'Damn him and those eyes. If they weren't directed at me, I'd be so proud.'

"Fine! But only since Izu wants to go." Kaito huffed. He made sure the small smile of excitement stayed away until he turned to take off his apron, though Maiko-sama smirked, letting him know she was onto him.

Little did they know that letting a six year old feline loose on the station would result in a cat getting his own show and gaining a social media handle.

Arisu gripped her sheets in anger as the dirty cop her Yakuza contact had left her room. The kidnapping failed, all because of some vigilante that even the underground feared. She would be lying if she said she wasn't scared, but Arisu was never one to back down from a challenge.

In another universe, Arisu would have died before her men could even load Hitoshi into the van, leaving a power vacuum in her company that led to bankruptcy. But because of one tiny kitten, and his involvement, she was alive.

"Get me my cell. Tomura owes me a favor." She said to her silent guard across the room. Trying to kidnap the kid while heroes and police were vigilant would be a mistake. No, first she'd kill this annoyance.

Dialing the familiar number, Arisu couldn't help but grin, already thinking of ways to turn this situation into a financial boon.

After all, the media loved an injured woman who kept fighting for her company. It might actually boost the stocks.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Walking down the street towards the station was an experience in of itself for Izuku. Being in the upper business district, Izuku saw many types of heroes he never saw before.

There was an older hero with wasp legs, who Izuku wondered if he tasted as good as the wasps he'd had before. The little insects would try and escape his kitten paws, but the green eyed cat gulped them down with a crunch every time. Clearly he was a master hunter. Then, they passed a giant woman, who ran a car wash, dumping water on the vehicles using her massive hands.

Eyes widening at the amazing stores and people, he hardly noticed that they reached their destination.

"And here we are listeners! Hands To the Up Radio at your service!" Hizashi grinned when matching shocked expressions worked its way on his charges' faces. He really did love kids and cats, so of course this would make his day. Now, time to make them really love his work as they listened in on the guest, an up an coming hero transferring from Beijing. "We have everything here: twenty radio hosts, a gym, café, and plenty of random rooms." He boasted. Hizashi got so wrapped up in his explanations that he didn't notice Kaito slip away to the kitchens for a snack, signaling Izuku to stay. Said cat boy leapt to Hizashi's shoulder, causing the man to squeal. "PICTURE TIME!" He said and they proceeded to take many, many selfies while on the tour. Kaito was forgotten by the pair.

"Hey, Cockatoo? What's it like being on the radio?" Izu asked innocently. Hizashi was about to reply (after insisting he wasn't a cockatoo) when his lovely manager came screaming down the hall.

"PRESENT MIC-SAN! IT'S AN EMERGENCY!" The woman, a brunette with severe anxiety screamed. "Our guest AND backup guests cancelled!" She cried. The woman, who Present Mic adored, was rather… extra, even by his standards. He was about to say they'd just make it another music hour like normal, but a certain cat was perched on his shoulders. He let a wide grin spread on his face.

"Well don't worry, I have it covered. In fact, I have the puurfect guest." He assured her. Izu gave him a weird look, as did his manager, but he pressed on. "Izu, how would you like to find out what it's like to be on radio first hand?"

"…HUH?!" Was the dual replies.

Izu looked rather perplexed. Honestly, it sounded fun but not something Kaito would approve of. After all, Izuku wasn't really sure if this would go under 'acceptable levels of showing off' as Kaito would say. Present Mic seemed to sense his hesitation.

"Don't worry, cat listener, the radio is safe."

"Maybe I should ask Kaito-nii if he wants to join in…" Izuku mumbled.

"Er, no need! My lovely assistant will go tell him while we get set up!" Present Mic frantically butt in, not wanting the foul mouth pre-teen to ruin ratings. While Kaito was adorable looking (not that all listeners weren't adorable to the voice hero), his mouth… would get Hizashi kicked off the air. Best to use the precious kitten. He had to pay for his own hair gel after all, and it was expensive. Yes, Izu was the cat for the job.

But he would never tell Shouta about it. The man probably wouldn't approve of 'his cat' being on the air and advertisements. Shouta always griped that he never listened to the radio as it was stupid, so that route was safe, and nobody in their age group would blab.

Thankfully Izuku was too scared of the 'Caterpillar man' to blab and Kaito was easily bribed.

"Hmm… okay! Let's go, Cockatoo!"

"Must you call me that!"

"Alright listeners, it's time for our weekly guest portion!" Present Mic shouted, eliciting snickers from Izuku, who covered his face with his paws. "Now normally we'd have some hotshot hero on here but today we have!" Here the voice hero paused, as no one had thought of what handle to give their little furball.

"The feline hero: IZU!" Izu bellowed. Present Mic resisted a sweat drop, deciding to roll with it.

"Hero in TRAINING, yes. Our little...feline hero, is here to tell what it's like being a cat in the big bag world. First question, Izu, how are you feeling?"

"I'm feelin fine" Izu yawned, suddenly feeling shy. Cockatoo was too loud for his tastes, especially in this funny room.

"Feline fine, eh? Nice pun!" Present Mic beamed, laughing with gusto.

"...huh? What's a pun?" Izu asked. Cue the awwws from the host.

"Now that's just too precious. Next question: what's your day look like?"

"Usually sunny, but it was raining last week" The cat said absently, wondering why Cockatoo was asking about what the day looks like; they live in the same city, after all!

"...Cat logic there, folks! Cat listener, what's your favorite thing to do during your free time?" Hizashi asked, hoping the easy answer of 'sleep' would pop up, so that this odd interview wouldn't be so...odd. No such luck, though, with Aizawa's cat.

"Making people give me food. Kaito-nii says I'm the bestest at making humans give their food up." Izu's chest puffed out proudly. He also really liked reading and sleeping, but no way would he admit that last one as then Kaito-nii would make him take more naps- naps unplanned by Izu! Izu, like all felines, loved sleeping, but only on their terms. They had to be obstinate on principle, and admitting he liked sleeping (no matter how obvious) simply wouldn't do.

"One more question before we get to some fan calls" Mic butted in as his team motioned through the glass. "Who's your favorite hero and why?"

"All Might, duh. His hair is cool and his smile is like...as big as a T-Rex's...just nicer."

Shouta Aizawa had been managing to survive his new case, and was busy writing his newest findings from the blood stained van. Sitting in the police car and enjoying a cup of coffee during the write up was just a bonus.

His 'partner' on it, however, had the annoying habit of listening to Hizashi's inane radio. Normally Aizawa would ignore the station, as radio was pointless. He sighed as his partner, a bubbly hero with a squirrel tail, hopped in and cranked it. Shouta prepared to rebuff her, but a familiar voice made him freeze.

"Who's your favorite hero and why?" His idiotic best friend asked.

"All Might, duh. His hair is cool and his smile is like...as big as a T-Rex's...just nicer." That was Izu (seriously, Shouta had to think of a better name), his newest child...er, cat. The little snot wasn't supposed to be on the radio!  
Instantly his phone was out, dialing a certain number.

"Hands To The UP radio, listener! What questions do you have?" Hizashi chirped five minutes later after Shouta sat through the waiting period to ask a question on the air.

"I called to ask what the ever living hell you were thinking putting my cat on your show!"

The following gulp was music to Shouta's black coffee heart.

When Hizashi started accepting questions, he felt a weight lifted up. Sure, some questions were weird, but most were basic. Take the first question, from a little girl.

"Hi Izu! Are you a real cat?"

"Just whenever I want to be!" Izu had chirped back. Hizashi couldn't be happier- Izu kept the fact that he was one hundred percent a cat a secret by letting them think he only transformed into one! Brilliant!

The questions continued, all very mild, until the fifth caller.

"Hands To The UP radio, listener! What question do you have?"

"I called to ask what the ever living hell you were thinking putting my cat on your show!" Shoot… that was Shouta, his very scary best friend. He couldn't stop the gulp that followed.

"AHAHA! Sho-chan, so nice of you to be listening ..."

And that's when the already disastrous interview (who was the idiot that suggested interviewing the most sheltered talking cat in existence?!) turned nuclear.

For Kaito arrived in the sound booth, looking at his brother from another gene pool through the glass.

And he did not look happy.

End! First...  
1\. My Beta, Dragon, is amazing, so say thank you for all his hard work!  
2\. What the heck will Mic do to stay alive from this? And Izu, you poor dear.  
3\. We have a discord! Feel free to join for chatting, sneak peaks, movie nights (when we aren't dying from school), and the occasional fandom debate. (take out spaces)  
discord . gg / E7 Vmaca


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

**Previously….**

When Hizashi started accepting questions, he felt a weight lifted up. Sure, some questions were weird, but most were basic. Take the first question, from a little girl.

"Hi Izu! Are you a real cat?"

"Just whenever I want to be!" Izu had chirped back. Hizashi couldn't be happier- Izu kept the fact that he was one hundred percent a cat a secret by letting them think he only transformed into one! Brilliant!

The questions continued, all very mild, until the fifth caller.

"Hands To The UP radio, listener! What question do you have?"

"_I called to ask what the ever living hell you were thinking putting my cat on your show!" _Shoot… that was Shouta, his very scary best friend. He couldn't stop the gulp that followed.

"AHAHA! Sho-chan, so nice of you to be listening ..."

And that's when the already disastrous interview (who was the idiot that suggested interviewing the most sheltered talking cat in existence?!) turned nuclear.

For Kaito arrived in the sound booth, looking at his brother from another gene pool through the glass.

And he did _not _look happy.

Kaito had been enjoying a fantastic evening, thank you very much. While Aizawa was a jerk who didn't trust him and Cockatoo was more annoying than the _one time _Kaito let Izu have espresso, the radio station had amazing food. Years on the streets taught Kaito to eat anything he could, and the buffet offered in the staff room was just reinforcing this life lesson. Cannoli's, rice balls, miso flavored everything- heck, even ice cream! Yes, Kaito was in pure bliss.

That was until he heard the interview of his cat- er, brother! Blasting over the intercom was his little cat- dang it, brother- was having the time of his life. Either way, Izu was way too young to be on radio. Forget the 'showing off' that would surely go to the brat's head, just imagine all the creeps that no doubt would want to kidnap him!

Getting up with a grunt, the violent future doctor was stalking down the corridors, putting nail marks into the walls and on each door. Various people in the hallways ran for cover at the sight of the boy exuding murder; one puny intern actually screeched before passing out against the fire alarm.

Finally, after hours (minutes) of searching, Kaito found it. It was time, time to destroy the Cockatoo once and for like he should have in that alleyway months ago.

Kaito noted with surprising glee that Aizawa was already on Cockatoo's case in the most humiliating way possible: over live radio. Kaito knew it wasn't enough, and proceeded to give his brother from another mother (thankfully) the _look._

Now, many guardians to children claim that their look is _the look,_ the look that can obtain compliance within ten seconds of activation. If one looked on the internet they'd find a plethora of 'scary' parents and older siblings using it and being smug in the thought that they could get their child or sibling to follow their rule. However, in Kaito's not so humble opinion, those other guardians had nothing on his patented look. With Kaito's _look _he once made All Might cry at a fan event when the bastard tried to leave before his adorable four year old Izu got his free signed t-shirt like all the other attendees. Sure, they were two hours late and they ambushed All Might in the alleyway behind the location, but the man still should have felt honored to give Izu the signed t-shirt!

Ever since that day, Kaito has used it when Izu was being really stupid. It stopped his brother from jumping off a bridge into a construction site for a grasshopper; it prevented Izu from eating the last cookie that Kaito had been saving after a long day's work conning the unsuspecting fools. And most recently, it had stopped Izu from eating the 'catnip' a drug dealer was selling at the corner. Kaito had sent the guy to the hospital for his troubles in that.

Now, that look spoke volumes, saying 'get the hell out of there and into my arms. You are SO grounded for this!'

Izuku's look of resignation and jumping out of his chair was proof to Kaito that despite his brother going through a rebellious stage of sneaking out late and listening to the Cockatoo of all people, Kaito still was king in their household.

Hearing Caterpillar Man chewing out Cockatoo made Izuku snicker; he may be afraid of the Caterpillar Man, but at least he could make Cockatoo turn a hilarious shade of white! Izuku had plans to sit back and watch whatever happened, but his brother had to ruin it.

Now, Izuku loved his brother more than anything and anyone. He loved Kaito-nii more than his All Might signed t-shirt that is apparently worth money but Izuku refused to sell it since it was comfy. He loved Kaito-nii more than sunny naps and baby bugs in spring- and baby bugs in spring were always the most delicious. He loved Kaito-nii so much, he'd give him any mice he caught and read boring books just to make his beloved brother happy.

But, despite that love, Izuku would be the first to say that Kaito was _terrifying. _His brother could curdle dairy and he even made All Might cry! Not to mention when Izuku got grounded he had a lot of scary reading assignments- one time Kaito made him read a book about the dying bee population! Considering bees were Izuku's favorite bug, it gave the feline child nightmares. The look Kaito-nii was sending through the glass was saying 'get out here this instant!'

Seeing his brother give him _the look _made Izuku jump five feet in the air and out the room after pressing the automatic open button. In two shakes of a kitten's tail he was in his brother's arms.

"Let me deal with the soon to be dead Cockatoo, then you're so grounded." Now, like any self-respecting manipulative six year old, Izuku did the only thing he could think of to get out of punishment.

"Don't be mad! Cockatoo made me! He said if I didn't I couldn't eat tuna at the snack bars!" He lied. And quite masterfully, if Izuku could say so himself. Too bad for Izuku, the so called 'Cockatoo' heard his plead.

As he stared into the face of his betrayer, Hizashi Yamada couldn't help but feel an odd sense of pride that a cat of all creatures just signed his death warrant.

When Izu ran out the room Hizashi was quick to end the show with a music hour, though Shouta called him on the cell. Hizashi could deal with his best friend, it would just cost a lot of coffee…and a couple of more bruises than usual during their sparring session on Tuesday. He might get locked out of his best friend's apartment again, but Shouta shouldn't have shown him how to pick locks in high school if he actually wanted privacy.

So Shouta he could deal with. But not a deranged thirteen year old with a protective streak a mile wide. When he heard Izu say 'don't be mad' he was sure that the cat listener was on his side… until the next sentence was uttered.

"Cockatoo made me! He said if I didn't I couldn't eat tuna at the snack bars!" The traitor cried. Now this wouldn't do, Hizashi wouldn't be murdered, not for something he didn't really do!

"Oi! I didn't do it! Izu's lying I never threatened him, we don't even have tuna! Now, can't we all just sit down and have a jam session, yeah?!" He tried.

Cracking fists was the reply.

Thirty minutes later a rather peeved Shouta Aizawa walked into the scene of Hizashi feeding his cat expensive sushi while being tied to a chair. His problem child looked vindictive.

"And that's why you'll never endanger Izu again, **RIGHT?**" Kaito said with malice. Hizashi, with hair messed up for the first time in five years, nodded frantically.

"Yes! Absolutely no endangering the cat listener!" Hizashi said like a robot, which more than a little freaked Shouta out. Izuku sat on Hizashi's lap looking content and a little pudgy from the meal. Kaito nodded in approval and pulled duct tape from thin air, taping Hizashi's mouth shut.

"Oh, and little bro? You're still grounded." Kaito deadpanned. Izu squawked in a way that made Shouta yank his phone out for a video. Who knew cats could sob?

"What?! Why, Kaito-nii?"

"First rule in lying: have all your bases covered. While I'm proud that you managed to pull off blaming this idiot over here, you should know I was at the buffet, and there was no tuna. Now, if you had said rice, sushi, or milk, I would have fallen for it. Overall you get a six out of ten." Kaito started lecturing. Shouta felt the need to sit his problem children (feline and human) down for a discussion of why lying is just wrong, period.

"Ohh, so if I hadn't gotten caught I wouldn't have been grounded?" Izu asked seriously.

"Exactly! Now you're getting it. As con artists we must never be caught by committing such a simple mistake while lying. Now, how about we go eat and you can start on your grounding? I just found a book over the process of making taxidermized cats."

Shouta watched his kids go off while leaving his best friend still bound. It was time for Shouta to make his own entrance.

"You're completely illogical, Hizashi; I think a month of not being allowed my left overs and taking the kid and cat to the zoo's new bug enclosure sounds like a decent punishment, don't you agree?" Horrified silence was his answer. "Glad you agree. Now, let's discuss why bringing attention to my cat with a quirk is a bad idea."

A week later finds a still slightly pale Izuku from his reading assignment sitting across from the still sleep deprived Hitoshi, playing a midnight game of Pokémon. Izuku had borrowed it from Shigaraki (without permission) when the boy fell asleep during a match. Apparently planning the destruction of heroes wore you out. He planned to return it before his older friend even noticed it was missing… hopefully.

"You know, I can't decide if it's more degrading that you're beating me with just your tail controlling the buttons or that you're eating instead of looking at the screen." Hitoshi deadpanned. Izuku smiled.

"Well, I play a lot against this really awesome person, so I had to get good." The cat boy replied. It was nice to play a game with someone his age who knew his secret.

"Still, I've played Pokémon since I was two! What's your- oh, hi Uncle." Suddenly the open window was filled with the bloody vigilante.

"Brat and Brat, glad you're up. Izuku, I have a job that requires your furry half. How would you like to help me with my cause tomorrow?" Hitoshi stiffened at his uncle's request, but Izuku just seemed to clueless.

"Will there be food?" Izuku asked seriously; one had to be paid for work after all.

**End! What could our loveable Uncle Stain have in mind for Izuku, and why the heck would Izuku even think about 'borrowing' from Shigaraki?**

**Coffee Shop Hero updates later this week if I finish the last part and edit it, so keep an eye on that **

**This story… is literally me just having a blast with random crack ideas, so I hope you guys enjoy this randomness.**

**What do you think Izuku will be doing? And will he survive long enough to go to the zoo, or even just back home?**

**Have a fantastic week,**

**Riku. **

**(ps. Join our discord . Shout out to Dragon my beta- may you survive this semester!)**

** discord .gg / K5C8SYh**

**(take out the spaces, if you still need help, just PM me and I'll help you out!)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

**AN: Hello readers! Time for another installment with our furry hero, Izu. While I don't update this story much, I do still enjoy it! Let me know what you think about the chapter in the comments.**

**Last Time, on Kitten Quirk Freeloading…**

"_You know, I can't decide if it's more degrading that you're beating me with just your tail controlling the buttons or that you're eating instead of looking at the screen." Hitoshi deadpanned. Izuku smiled.  
"Well, I play a lot against this really awesome person, so I had to get good." The cat boy replied. It was nice to play a game with someone his age who knew his secret.  
"Still, I've played Pokémon since I was two! What's your- oh, hi Uncle." Suddenly the open window was filled with the bloody vigilante.  
"Brat and Brat, glad you're up. Izuku, I have a job that requires your furry half. How would you like to help me with my cause tomorrow?" Hitoshi stiffened at his uncle's request, but Izuku just seemed to clueless.  
"Will there be food?" Izuku asked seriously; one had to be paid for work after all._

**With Izu…**

"Dun, dun, dun dun! Dun, dun, da duh dun!" Izuku hummed the "Mission Impossible" theme as he crawled through the vents a week after Blood man crashed his and Hitoshi's gaming session.

Izuku enjoyed helping the man out, as it came with tons of free food (including chocolate!) and training so he wouldn't die or something while he spied on the Yakuza or something. Honestly, Izuku was not too worried; who would suspect a cat of recording their highly illegal meeting?

Besides, it's not like he would turn them into the police- that would be just rude considering his brother technically stole and thus were just like these Yakuza planning on stealing and selling weapons! Izuku would just be handing over his special collar Blood man gave him that had them talking about drop off points or something. Blood man would then 'take care' of them, whatever that meant.

Maybe he'd give them the 'stealing is wrong' lecture like Shouta (who was _still _a caterpillar man despite what Nezu-sensei kept saying), did every day. Those were less effective than a razor leaf against Cyndiquil so Izuku wasn't sure why Blood man thought his scolding would work, but Izuku tried not to judge.

Eventually Izuku exited the vents of the warehouse where the meeting was taking place and crawled around the support beams like Blood Man taught him. Just as he settled and started cleaning himself- part of the cover- the two groups of Yakuza entered from opposite sides. Eventually they stood less than two meters apart.

"Boss wants sixty million yen for each container after we… acquire them from their former home in the evidence lockers," One Yakuza, a burly man with a lion's man, said. Izuku wanted to curl up in all that fur but forced himself to focus and smoothed out his tail fur. Standing across from Lion Mane was the leader of their buyer, The Fighting Guppies or something. He had fish fins on his head that looked like they would taste delicious if Izuku roasted them over a fire.

Fish Fin raised an eyebrow and looked in a box another Yakuza brought forward, before his face turned sour.

"Pssh, these look like guns from the Kamino operation- they're hotter than Endeavor's flames! Why would I let my men wield guns with such a history?" Fish Fin puffed out, and Lion Mane looked torn between amused and annoyed.

"Because these hot weapons can do this!" Lion Mane grabbed the gun and raised it to the roof- right where Izuku was crouched on the support beam!

Terrified, Izuku froze, his fear pounding in his ears. The gun suddenly went off, releasing a light grey energy blast just feet away from Izuku's perch. It missed the support beam but went through the ceiling, disintegrating the roof without a sound, and no light.

"Holy sh-" One Yakuza breathed too low for Izuku hear the last part. He shivered as they continued their talks on how they were going to take the weapons and where to meet. Fish Fin and his men kept glancing at the hole, and Izuku made sure to stay in the shadows while continuing to act exactly like a cat.

"We accept. If your cop can get those weapons out by tomorrow, we will pay your asking price." Fish Fin said after another hour of negotiating. Soon they exited, as did the other group, leaving Izuku to sneak back out through the vents. He gulped as he managed to make it to an alley way, calming down.

Then the awesomeness of what he just did hit him. He, a six- almost seven though- year old just spied on really shady guys! He was like, like an underground hero! Kind of like what Shouta did three nights ago in Hosu, spying on some villain group and beating them up.

Izuku didn't beat them up (he _was _only a kid, still) but maybe Blood man would beat them up and turn them into the police like Shouta did! Except… they said they had a policeman on their side, so Izuku hoped Blood man remembered to turn them into a good officer.

"Hehe, Izu is the best hero! I'll be a spy, a hero, and then get all the snacks a cat could want!" He snickered and spent five minutes fantasying about being a hero one day. How could he not, when a certain principal was carefully molding (read: manipulating) Izuku's opinions on society through lessons and bribery.

With these thoughts Izuku sauntered off towards Hitoshi's place, missing Kurogiri's portal that looked at him in contemplation.

**At Hitoshi's place…**

"Good job, Brat." Blood man praised. If Izuku didn't know better, he would think Blood man thought his name was brat, not Izu, Izuku or Problem Cat.

"It was nothing, Blood man" Izuku assured him, leaving out the part of him being scared of a measly energy blast near him. He handed the collar to the vigilante, who pocketed it eagerly.

"It's Uncle Chizome to you, Brat, or I will gut you. We will be working together more in the future. Time to go… discuss the errors of their ways with these guys." With that the vigilante left, muttering something about making the cop bleed.

Hitoshi beamed at Izuku when they were alone, happy that his friend was going to be around even more. If Uncle Chizome was going to be using Izuku for his skills, Hitoshi would get to hang out more with his best (only) friend. If only Uncle would let him help out too, but the man kept saying Hitoshi had to be able to shoot a man in the eyes and crotch first ten times without missing. Only then would he be allowed to help.

Without ever telling his mother, of course. She would murder them, resurrect them, then murder them again if she ever found out.

"Hey, Hitoshi," Izuku began, pulling the Gameboy he swiped once more from a supposed 'friend'. Honestly, Hitoshi didn't understand how Izuku could stand a guy who threw temper tantrums about losing. "You want to battle?"

Hitoshi smiled and held out his Gameboy, knowing that Izuku was just all around strange and he probably shouldn't question his choices. "Only if you want to lose!"

It was nice to have a friend.

Kurogiri cleaned another glass as Tomura cursed the quirked feline who never asked permission before "borrowing" the extra gaming system. So far the feline always brought it back and beat Tomura, but the question was how he always managed to escape. Sensei was getting antsy, wanting to meet the cat who would be invaluable to them, so he sent Kurogiri to track the creature down.

To find the cat turn into a child in order to climb up to a house after spying on a Yakuza meeting was not something Kurogiri expected. To then see he was working with one of the most infamous vigilantes this side of Japan was even more shocking.

Now, Kurogiri had a choice to make. Did he tell his boss about this development? The child was young enough to be turned to villainy, but something about manipulating children made Kurogiri ill. He wasn't sure why it did, as he had been with Sensei for as long as he could remember, and he didn't regret helping to raise Tomura as he had… well, he wouldn't have minded instilling more personal hygiene into the boy but that was neither here nor there.

But Mikumo the cat- who called himself "Izu"- was different. And while Tomura would love to have an underling as versatile and fun as Izu, Kurogiri's morals kept fluctuating on what to do. On one hand, the child's life would be filled with secrecy and end in him being in prison multiple times before he was thirty (if he was lucky). On the other hand, Izu was already in kahoots with a vigilante, something that often had the same consequences as villainy.

Kurogiri supposed before anything else he could have a "chat" with the boy, which could help him make his decisions.

"That damn Mikumo! I'm going to disintegrate him one of these days!" Tomura raged. Kurogiri sighed, bemoaning his once clean bar.

**Back with Izuku, next day…**

Izuku grumbled in exhaustion as Nezu-sensei taught him about history. It was his least favorite subject, mainly because it was the one they ended with before work. If he could, Izuku would have escaped to nap in Cockatoo's classroom, or perhaps the Teacher's Lounge, but Nezu-sensei had the door locked with a keypad Izuku couldn't reach.

Honestly, life wasn't fair to him. He spends his evening helping his new Uncle, and this is the thanks he gets?

"Izu, we're done, and have been for five minutes" Nezu said, amused as Izuku jumped out of his thoughts. The boy was always exhausted, and Nezu was becoming worried. This week was worse, however, as Izu seemed stiff, like he had been working all night.

Perhaps it wasn't wise to separate him from his brother most nights, even if Izuku seemed content with the time the pair spent every morning and afternoon. Perhaps a sleepover would help the boy sleep for once.

Nezu pressed a familiar dial on his phone after contemplating for a few minutes and sending a message to the woman who watched after Izuku most days. Izuku had already bolted to find Kaito, who was in a sparring session with Aizawa.

"Ah, yes, Aizawa" Nezu said when the man answered. "How would you feel about letting Izuku staying with you for the weekend? He seems to be missing his brother more."

Izuku felt a shiver go down his spine as he ran towards his brother. He was going to be going over to visit Tomura tonight before Uncle Chizome taught him and Hitoshi how to pick locks. His very first friend was awesome, and he wanted to spend as much time as he could with him! First, though, work and a nap.

"Hey, Izu!" Kaito-nii was pinned under Shouta's boot, much to Izuku's amusement. Kaito-nii usually won against opponents on the streets, but Shouta outmatched him. "Let's get going, you're with me and Hobo man this weekend- oh! Oi, stop it, Hobo man!" Shouta had dug his boot in at his least favorite nickname.

"You and Caterpillar- I mean Shouta?" Izuku asked, remembering Nezu-sensei's lecture about calling Shouta by his name since he did so much for them (but Nezu fully supported Cockatoo's name). This was even _better _than his plans! Maybe he could talk Kaito-nii into meeting Tomura. Something told him that was a bad idea, but the two were so much alike, minus the killing heroes thing. They could be great friends, and then Izuku could beat them _both _at Pokémon!

So a happy Izuku rode on top of his brother's head, already thinking of things they could do. Hitoshi would understand him being gone for the evening- he could email him from the café's computer- and Kaito-nii promised they could go to the library again.

Izuku was so caught up in his thoughts, in fact, that he missed the news broadcasting the murder of a police officer and the explosions at the very places the Yakuza guys were supposed to buy the weapons.

**End! Another chapter done for Izu the cat. Things are getting heated around here, with Izuku accidentally helping in the murder of some shady people, Kurogiri on a moral crisis, and Kaito on the verge of finding out what his little brother does at night.**

**After the next chapter or so, I'm planning a time skip, probably to around All Might and AFO's fight. Should be interesting!**

**Do you guys want Aizawa to find out about his "Problem Cat" being a "Problem Child?" Personally I thought it would be hilarious to wait until the first day of U.A when Izu is napping on his desk, but it would be just as hilarious for him to find out now. **

**I'm rereading "****Izuku Eats His Problems" ****and it's just as good as I remember (though I was about 8 chapters behind). If you haven't checked it out yet, do so, as it's my favorite 'cat Izuku' fic! **

**Riku. **

**(ps. Join our discord . Shout out to Dragon my beta- may you survive this summer and happy bday!)**

** discord .gg / K5C8SYh**

**(take out the spaces. If you have troubles just PM me!)**


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